There are standards to jewelry. Vintage: highest standard. Luxury (Van Cleef&Arpels, Harry Winston, Cartier, Tiffany-in that order): next highest standard. Everything else (Zales, Kay, Ben Bridge, Jared’s, Ricky’s Diamond Emporium, etc): unacceptable.

“Zales and the herps go hand in hand more than you would think…much like a ho, if you get around enough, you’ll get both…should say, if you’re enough of a ho, you’ll get both.”