Equal Opportunity Offending: My Dissertation on Shitty Gift Giving
I like to think of myself as an equal opportunist. When it comes to offending people, I’m all about equality. Everyone gets offended equally.
I’m a pretty terrible gifter. I’ve given bad gifts from everyone from my mom to co-workers, and here’s why. I don’t like shopping for your birthday. I don’t like shopping for your Christmas present. I really don’t like shopping for your wedding or bridal shower. I don’t like shopping for you period, for any holiday or event in which giving a gift is considered “good etiquette.” You know what else is good etiquette? Offering an open bar for the wedding you invited me to for which I had to buy a gift AND squeeze into a pair of Spanx for.
